Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
