One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
