I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
