its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
