you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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