But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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