She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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