Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize