i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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