Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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