After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize