dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
