nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
