who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
