East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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