You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
