5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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