She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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