i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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