Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
