oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
