were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
