You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
