nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
