as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
