i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
