physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
