I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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