You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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