There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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