Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
