I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
