Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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