You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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