Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
