first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
