Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
