He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
