STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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