best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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