When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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