That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
