Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So vagazzling was a success
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
