We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
