I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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