The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
