marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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