On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
