dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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