Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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