Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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