Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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