I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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