So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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