Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
