I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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