Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
