It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
