honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
