Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's never too late to be topless.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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